Monday, February 20, 2023
Dear Paul,
How incomprehensible your passing.
We spent the summer in 1996. I stayed at Frans and Maria's house at first. Frans and Maria had driven an old school bus deep into a bit of forest. You and Kevin used to hang out there and made drawings on the walls. Sitting there I remember wondering about you and wanting to meet you. Once I did, I felt very welcomed by you and your family. You had a positive influence on me. You may have adopted some different views later on in life, I don’t know, but I will always remember you as a very warm and subtle man who had a great interest in understanding the world and a great interest in other people. I thought you were pretty smart and interested, looking deeper into layers, past the surface, just to get inspired by the revelation of some inner beauty or magic. Never motivated by material gains or power but motivated to experience, know and understand. Even more motivated to understand than to be understood. More to know than to be known. More to see than to be seen. This is a beautiful soul. I found you to be an astute observer at times who also made some good predictions. As time passed and new developments occurred, you had sometimes already predicted those developments back in ’96.
I figured you were longing for a deep connection to your surroundings, while at the same time requiring a safe distance. Perhaps to safeguard your unusually loving and also vulnerable, authentic self. Properties have a tendency to balance themselves out. This life surely is quite the journey and I guess we are all plural souls, having contradictory needs at the same time.
We visited a festival and stayed at the camp site. We drove there in a big old car, typical for north America. We played Frank Zappa albums, and all the weirdest stuff we could find. All the way to the point where the sounds were no longer even rhythmic or melodious and therefore i.m.o. no longer music. I thought of you often during my life, because it was an influential time, and I will continue to do so. I wish you peace and love dear Paul, and I wish the same plus strength to your loving family. Goodbye Paul, Joep Kops
PS: I want to upload some pictures of us together being pretty young, but I recently moved and the album must be in a box somewhere, I can't find it a.t.m. but i will upload when I do.
